Stomach Monster
by kakashikrazy256
Summary: He was starving. Literally STARVING TO DEATH. Symptoms include: Swaying, dizziness, loss of vision, stomach pains and one very annoying detective. Maybe this would teach the Kaitou Kid to never skip a meal again.


**This was supposed to be a short and fluffy moment between Shinichi and Kaito, ending with Shin giving Kai some food. I had no idea how it turned into a make out session. Damn I need to calm down LMAO**

**Warning: Language, atrocious writing, OOCness, grammar/spellling issues and I'm a sucker for a Uke!Kid and a Seme!Shinichi. Hey I warned you. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned this fandom, things would be very different. See how Detective Conan isn't a crack filled crossover anime? Yeah, that probably means I don't own it. Be thankful.**

**Well, enjoy the yaoiness~ if you don't like yaoi, I will beat you with a stick- *Gets shot for threatening readers* LMAO jkjk just get out of here while you can. **

He stumbled.

The great and powerful Kaitou fucking Kid stumbled.

He managed to save himself before he could fall flat on his face.

He made sure his mishap was barely noticeable.

The task force didn't seem to notice so he allowed himself to take a breath of relief.

But then he saw a slight flicker of movement in the corner of his eye.

Meitantei.

He had seen him stumble.

Shit.

The thief ignored his urge to shudder and smirked, continuing his act.

"Nakamori-Keibu~~ you're going to have to try way harder if you want to catch me~ but then again, no amount of effort will be enough to catch the great Kaitou Kid~!" He blew the man a flirty kiss and could literally see the man's blood pressure rise.

He turned around with flourish and ran.

Swaying ever so slightly.

What the hell was wrong with him tonight? He mentally smacked himself and mentally swayed as a result.

He was feeling fine all day, with the exception of a slight gnawing pain in his stomach but it didn't bother him that much so it's not that bad right?

He suddenly lost his vision and stumbled into a wall.

Yep, definitely not that bad.

The task force wasn't in sight. Which meant they were probably stuck in that glitter trap he hopefully remembered to set up several hallways away .

He pushed himself off the wall, panting hard. His head hurt and his stomach was killing him.

God damn it.

Even if the task force fell for his hopefully existent trap, he knew there was no way in hell that tantei-kun would fall for it.

Realizing this, he began to run again, telling his stomach to shut the fuck up or it's not getting any breakfast tomorrow.

His stomach kicked him harder, protesting, seeing that it hadn't seen food for the last 48 hours.

Ah, maybe that's why it's pissed off.

He made it to the roof somehow. He didn't know how the hell he accomplished the feat but he did it.

Now all he had to worry about was getting home on his wings without crashing head first into Tokyo Bay.

Ah well, he could use a splash of cold water to wake himself up. Because he was pretty damn close to the point of passing out.

Time to play 'Don't be a Kaitou Pancake' Whoopee

His vision was failing and his legs felt like jelly. Oh and his stomach was being a PMSing bitch. What else was new? He began to stumble towards the edge of the roof.

"Wait." Someone grabbed his arm in a tight grip.

He turned around immediately and stared Kudo Shinichi straight in the face.

"Tantei-kun." The thief stated, hiding his surprise behind a practiced poker face.

"What's wrong with you?" The detective deadpanned and Kid nearly fell over.

"Um...excuse me?"

What else could you say to that?

Before Kudo could say another word, the thief's jelly legs buckled from underneath him.

"Whoa-" He heard the detective gasp and reach out to catch him before he fell on his face.

"Kid?" Kudo asked apprehensively, as if expecting the thief to pull a troll move from up his sleeves. Haha as if.

"Waah tantei-kun's such a gentleman." Kid muttered, burying his face in the other's chest, breathing in his scent, trying to clear his head.

"And you might be getting a soccer ball in the gut soon." He laughed at the uncomfortable tone in the detective's voice.

"Tantei-kun~ why must you be cruel? My stomach hurts, if you kicked that soccer ball from hell at it, I would die~!"

"Good." Kudo retorted and Kid chuckled some more.

"...Your stomach hurts?" He broke the silence after a minute.

"Aa, it's like a little monster gnawing at my poor stomach walls!" He mock cried. Well maybe he actually did start tearing up for real. Because that was exactly what he felt his stomach was doing to him.

It hurt a lot.

"Gnawing?" He could tell the detective had raised an eyebrow.

"Sure."

The detective took a minute to think before replying.

"Did you eat a snack before you left for the heist?"

"I can't do a heist on a full stomach-"

"Dinner?"

Kid pouted slightly, annoyed with this interrogation session.

"I had to do final preparations and forg-"

"Lunch?"

"I got in trouble for changing Hakuba's boxers to sexy, black laced panties! Who knew you could get detention for that-"

"Breakfast?" Kid was getting pissed now.

"My alarm didn't ring this morning and stop cutting me of-"

"When was the last time you ate?"

"Meitantei why are you-"

"Answer the question, barou."

Kid glared at the detective in annoyance before taking a breath to think. Calculating how much meals he had missed because of school and heist preparations.

"The day….before yesterday..." He whispered and stared at the floor.

His ears caught the sound of Kudo taking a deep breath.

The detective raised a hand and rapped his knuckles against the thief's forehead hard.

"Ow!" The latter hissed and rubbed his head in pain.

"Are you stupid or something?" Kudo glared at the thief and Kid blinked.

"What?"

"Or are you trying to be one of those dumb girls that starve themselves to death?"

"NO! I just forgot okay?" Kid yelled, pushing away from the detective. He had to leave. His stomach ached like hell. He really wanted to go home and eat something.

"How could you forget to eat?" Meitantei scowled, not believing the thief at all.

"I...just did...and why do you care so much Tantei-kun? Doesn't me being weak give you an advantage~?" The magician smirked, trying to preserve what little dignity he had left.

"It's wouldn't be much of a satisfying win if I cuff you while you're unconscious from starving yourself."

"I pulled this heist off just fine, Tantei-kun, I don't need your sympathy." He said coldly, holding up the prized jewel before making it disappear in a puff of smoke.

"Yes, so fine that you're swaying on your feet." The detective was taunting him. And he didn't like it at all.

"Then how about you let me go home and I'll eat something~?" He smiled sweetly and Kudo returned the same sickly, sugary smirk.

"You can barely stand up; you'll probably pass out in mid air if you left now."

"Oh~ is Shinichi-kun gonna carry me back home~? Such a pervert~" He was hoping to get a reaction out of the detective by saying his actual name instead of a stupid nickname. However Kudo didn't even twitch.

"Whoa-" He nearly screamed when Shinichi wrapped an arm around his back and under his knees, lifting him up.

"W-what the hell are you doing-" He gasped as he grabbed at the detective's hair, afraid for his life all of a sudden. After all, he wouldn't consider himself a lightweight. The last thing he wanted was to fall on his head because Kudo Shinichi couldn't carry his weight.

"You suggested it, didn't you?" The detective's grin grew bigger and Kid cursed his big mouth. He let up his grip on Kudo's hair and scratched his cheek nervously.

"Well uh um I-" He yelped when the arms holding him up disappeared and he landed on his ass with a grunt. He glared up at the detective.

"You're a heavy princess." Kudo shrugged and the thief's glare grew hotter.

"If you're done sexually harassing this poor innocent thief, I'm going to leave. Nakamori-Keibu and the task force are probably going to show up soon." He began to stand up but a sharp pain in his stomach made him gasp and curl in on himself.

"You look like you're going to REALLY FAR." The dripping sarcasm made the thief want to vomit.

If there was food in his stomach to throw up.

"Just admit that you're starving." Kudo tilted his head and looked down at Kid with an amused smirk.

That bastard.

"I'm fine." The magician stated stubbornly.

"Alright then." Kid blinked. To be honest he had expected the detective to give more of a fight. Not that he wanted the detective to win or anything.

He looked up when he heard the sound of cellophane being ripped. Kudo stood there, eating a nutrition bar in front of his face.

That son of a bitch.

Kid refused to give in to the detective's taunt. He was content with studying the floor, desperately trying to think of a way to get his jelly legs to work and run.

His stomach didn't agree with him.

It kicked him again, demanding that he ask for a bite of that nutrition bar. The thief, in return asked his stomach if it have any sense of shame.

His stomach cursed him out and let out a loud growl, making him want to grovel on the floor in embarrassment.

He could tell Kudo was having the time of his life, trying not to laugh his snooty little ass off.

"Mmhhhh~" The detective moaned dramatically while he chewed the snack with great gusto, smacking his lips.

No words could describe this spawn of Satan.

The Kaitou's stomach was going on a tantrum now, kicking him violently, making him double over with a whimper.

"What was that?" Shinichi asked after he heard the thief mutter something under his breath. He was lying on his side, clutching at his stomach, whimpering. The detective started to frown in concern. Maybe he was taunting him too much?

"...Canihavesome..?"

"Huh?"

"I said can I fucking have some?!" Kid looked straight up at him with a glare, his eyes glistening with tears from the pain.

Shinichi was taken back by the raw emotion in the thief's eyes. It was kind of ...endearing. He blinked out of his trance when he heard the thief whimper again.

"Okay." He said simply with a soft smile. Kid looked up in surprise, as if he didn't believe Shinichi would actually share.

The detective took another bite of the bar, finishing it and tossed the wrapper on the floor.

He saw the thief's expression change to extreme anguish for a split second as he watched the wrapper fall. Then it changed into confusion when the detective towered over him.

"What are yo-mmph!" The thief's exclamation was cut short when Shinichi captured his lips in a gentle kiss.

Kid fought back. Shinichi wasn't surprised. He had expected him too.

The detective grabbed the magician's hands and slowly pressed them down against the ground.

Kid's lips were warm and wet, almost begging for Shinichi to nibble on them. They were also bloody. The thief had probably bit them hard to stop from yelling out in pain.

The former child pressed his tongue against the other teen's lips, asking for entrance. The trembling lips complied and parted slightly, allowing the detective to deepen the kiss. Their tongues clashed against one another wantonly, drawing groans from both boys. Shinichi dominated the kiss greedily. Seeing that the thief was in too weak of a state to fight back, he enjoyed it even more. He broke the kiss when he saw that Kid was having difficulty drawing in a breath. With a soft smile he watched the thief pant with his eyes clenched shut. Fucking adorable.

He counted off a minute in his head before he lightly licked at the magician's lips one last time. He let go of Kid's gloved hands and sat back.

"Meitan-h-haa.." The thief took a shuddering breath, looking at him with a dazed expression.

"How did it taste?" Shinichi licked his lips with a smirk.

Kid blinked for a second before licking his own lips, discovering how his mouth tasted like honey, nuts and oats. His stomach grew lively again, savoring the makeshift excuse of food and was begging for more.

"Oh…."

Shinichi nearly doubled over in laughter when the thief turned a soft shade of pink.

"Would you like more?" Shinichi leaned in with a suggestive tone in his voice.

He nearly lost it when the thief squeaked with a flush and moved back slightly.

Kid clenched his eyes shut when Shinichi moved closer, his arms trembling slightly as he waited for those lips to press against his again.

Instead he got something thrown at his face. He hissed and flinched back, rubbing his forehead. He opened his eyes and glanced down at the two nutrition bars that now sat on his lap.

"There, you have more." Shinichi was standing now, a smug grin on his face.

Dick.

Kid scowled and ripped a bar out of its wrapper, chewing on it loudly with a pout. His annoyance grew as the detective began to laugh obnoxiously at his antics.

"Who would've known that the great Kaitou Kid was such a _kid_?" Kudo giggled some more before stuffing his hands in his pockets walking towards the door.

"Nakamori-Keibu and the taskforce are probably still stuck on the ceiling because of that glitter glue trap of yours. I wouldn't jump off this building tonight if I were you. The elevators are still running. You could probably sneak out of here without any trouble." The detective turned to open to the door.

"Wait!" The hand froze at the knob, waiting for the thief to continue.

"Why…why are you helping me?"

Shinichi thought about this for a moment before he chuckled.

"Who knows. Maybe I just enjoy seeing you here jumping around rooftops more than seeing you behind bars. You weren't at your best today. To cuff you would have been unfair… Plus seeing you flustered with my body on top of yours was great. We should do this again some other day!" He turned his head just in time to see the thief sputter indignantly.

"Good night, Kid-san." He turned the knob and opened the door.

"Oh! By the way thanks for this! It's as red as your blush!" The detective grinned teasingly, holding up the ruby necklace before running down the stairs.

"HEY! WHA-WHEN DID YOU-" Kid gaped in shock and checked his secret pocket inside his suit jacket. What. The. Hell.

That jewel was in his secret pocket. INSIDE his suit jacket. That meant the detective's hands had been roaming INSIDE his jacket.

…..

That BASTARD.

**HAHA no readers are dead from the horrible plot right? RIGHT? *Looks around for dead bodies* No? Guess that means Shinichi has the day off today. Good for him. :D **

***Rereads story* Wow Shinichi totally stole Kid's personality for the night. **

**I hoped it was enjoyable. Reviews are appreciated and will be worshipped. **


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